Now, as for the rest of us. The fat ones who have let themselves go through the years. The
years of inactivity, laziness, and poor eating habits have caught up with us. That’s right, we are
the makers of our own man boobs. The beer drinking and football games have chased us down
and left their impression upon us in the form of spare tires, or the beer gut, and man boobs.
And what do our wives think? I’ve been married 19 years and believe my wife loves me. She
says I’m still sexy to her. Wait a minute. What do you suppose she meant by that? I think it
means that even though I have let myself go, she still loves me. That the world may find me
repulsive, but that her love for me is deeper than the way I look. Bless her heart, that is love.
Although she showed her love and devotion to me, I couldn’t help thinking that when she
married me, she probably wasn’t looking forward to the days when I would develop man boobs.
Her dreams, I’m sure, were not filled with visions me with well developed breasts. Now the
victim of my children’s ridicule and the show of my wife’s humility, deep down inside I knew I had
So I pulled out the weight bench and starting wiping all the dust off. That was a job in itself. I
hadn’t used it in a while. Then, I went in the house and put on my sweat pants and muscle shirt.
I was ready! I can do this, I reassured myself, and headed out to the garage to “workout”. And,
oh yeah, on my way out I announced loudly, to the wife and kids, “I’m going to work out”.
It’s funny how the mind works when we start some things. I’m 43 years old, but I started working
out like I was twenty again. Full of determination and energy I pumped that iron. Chest, arms,
and legs, they all got it. Repetition after repetition, set after set, I was impressed with myself
completely. I worked out for a good hour and felt great! I felt pumped up and invincible. So, I
headed into the house to show off. My 14 year old daughter, the one who said I had man boobs,
was the first to see me. She said, “WOW, Daddy, you look buff”. Yes! Results already, I can do
this I thought to myself.
I woke up right away the next morning, in my mind still basking in yesterday’s victory. Then, I
tried to move my legs and the other parts of my nearly paralyzed body. Every movement
became a new adventure in pain. I was stiff and sore and reassured that I had not missed a
muscle in my workout. There were muscles swollen up and hurting that I didn’t even know I had.
My man boobs? They were still there, only now they were flabby and mad at me. The pain didn’t